The craft beer industry has lost part of its soul. What makes craft beer special is not the places, the brands, or even the beer, it's the people that make it what it is. Loss is nothing new, classic and modern breweries have closed, and individuals have passed on in tragic accidents or simply from the ravages of life itself. All of those losses are sad, even heartbreaking, but it was the recent self-inflicted loss of Portland brewer Ryan Buxton that has cut even closer to the bone.

It is easy to celebrate the craft beer industry and pat ourselves on the back, brush the mistakes under the rug to focus on the positive. It’s a common refrain to suggest everyone doing this for a living is drinking for fun like they have never experienced the pressures of real life responsibilities. That misconception and the illusion of the sexy-fun-carefree lifestyle of the beer industry came crashing down this last weekend as we learned that Ex Novo Brewing’s head brewer Ryan Buxton took his own life. Shocking, tragic, and heartbreaking don’t even begin to describe it, and that is just the beginning of emotions experienced by people that didn’t even know him. The pain that Ryan was going through was personal, and I dont believe that weight should be unfairly placed on anyone. But it's also a reminder that beer is deeply personal, and when we lose sight of the people behind it and the practically feudal career enterprise that it is, we are doing a massive disservice to everyone.

Ryan Buxton was a dedicated leader, an open, honest, and passionate human that was also a great brewer. One of his proudest achievements was perfecting his recipe for Ex Novo’s ‘Perle Haggard’ to become a world-class Pilsner that ahieved the highest honor bestowed on such a beer when it won a Gold medal at the 2020 Great American Beer Festival, and then a Silver at the 2021 Oregon Beer Awards. More importantly, he was a loving human who didn’t hide his strong feelings about the industry and the people who make it what it is. Ryan was a champion of everything from fresh hop beer to mild ales, and even though he was only in his 30’s he was a mentor, father figure and an actual father of boys Bob Charlie and Beck Kevin Buxton from a 13 year marriage to Katie Buxton.

“Ryan was a deep and complex person,” says Ryan’s partner and Ex Novo brand and creative director Caroline Kosciusko. “He constantly craved connection and wanted to make sure the people in his life felt loved and cared for. He was incredibly compassionate, and his pranks and sense of humor was his favorite way of showing that to those he loved. Sometimes taking it too far, but he was really working on that in his last few months.”

Ryan Buxton was raised in Athens Georgia, and lived in Fargo North Dakota, California, and briefly New York City. But he was born in Provo, Utah and claimed Salt Lake City as his home before Portland, and he was a reformed member of the mormon church. In a previous career Ryan worked at a methodone clinic, as a drug and alcohol abuse counselor for at-risk youth. In his free time he was reading all of the literature on brewing that he could find.

"One day I just decided that maybe I should try to get a job as a brewer, and I figured to do that I would need to go to brew school," Ryan told us in 2018. He got into it from homebrewing back when he lived in Salt Lake City, a buddy invited him over for a brew day where they made a blonde ale circa 2007.

"After researching different schools I thought I would reach out to Kevin Crompton who was the Brewmaster for Epic as ask his opinion of which brew school I should apply to. He told me that I should probably get my feet wet in the industry and see what brewing is really like before I committed to that much more student debt; so I asked him if he knew of anyone hiring and he told me he'd give me a job washing kegs, working in the warehouse and packaging, so I took him up on it," said Ryan.

Starting on Epic Brewing's packaging line, he then got promoted to cellarman, then learned the art of barrels, blending, and getting his hands dirty cleaning tanks, transferring beer, filtration, etc. After some time as cellarman, they promoted him to brewer and eventually he became the head of blending operations.

"Epic was growing quickly and we formed a committee for producing new beers and I was tasked with helping write recipes and developing new beers," said Ryan. When Epic Brewing opened a larger brewery and barrel facility in Denver he made the move to Colorado to shepherd that program into what it is now. But eventually, just as he felt with the drug counseling job, he began to feel burnt out and looking for a change of pace, and more creative freedom. After a visit to Oregon, he had an idea of where he wanted to land.

"Looking back, I got lucky a few times and worked my ass off and Epic rewarded me with some amazing opportunities and growth," recalled Ryan.

Jason Barbee was a brewer at Deschutes Brewery in Portland’s pearl district when Ryan happened to stop by on an Oregon visit.

“I first met Ryan when he was on a celebratory beer road trip through the NW between getting hired at Epic and his start date. He and a buddy of his stopped into the Deschutes Portland Pub and asked if any brewers were around,” recalls Barbee. He and Ryan hit it off and kept in touch after Ryan went back to Utah, even meeting up again in Colorado during the GABF. “He was such a nice, genuine guy. A trusted friend.”

Barbee ended up becoming the original brewmaster at Ex Novo Brewing when they first opened in 2014. But in early 2016 Barbee was setting up to co-found his own brewing company that would become Level Beer.

“He was one of the first people I told I was leaving Ex Novo to start Level. He was an adviser, he helped me navigate that transition. At the same time he told me he'd always wanted to move to Portland and given his altruistic past work I thought he'd be a great fit for taking my place at Ex Novo. I introduced him to Joel [Gregory, the owner of Ex Novo] and facilitated the transition. He proceeded to have a thriving career heading that brewery, winning lots of medals, and making lots of friends along the way.”

Joel Gregory had already met Ryan a few times through Barbee when he was still with Epic Brewing. When Ryan expressed interest in the Ex Novo job it seemed like a natural fit. “He made a great impression then. Super friendly, no ego, cared a ton for craft beer and seemed like a natural leader. Jason Barbee also recommended him, so the decision was not too hard to make,” says Joel.

Ryan turned into an invaluable long-term presence in the company, spearheading a barrel program that included a sour and wild fruited off-site facility, and pushed fresh hop beers, and underappreciated styles back into the limelight. When Joel told Ryan that he was moving to New Mexico to open another Ex Novo brewery it was placing a huge responsibility on him, but it was a challenge that he really stepped up to the plate on.

“He was the perfect blend of being detail driven when working to perfect traditional styles, and not taking himself too seriously,” says Joel Gregory. “He wasn't too proud to make beers he personally didn't love drinking to round out the taplist. He has been working so hard specifically on Pilsners and West Coast IPAs over the past few years, and drinking our beers right now you can tell. He was relentless about not settling for good enough, he was always seeking feedback from his peers. To shape our community, he was just a lot of fun. Loved to prank the team and to play some horrible music on the brewery speakers to try to rile someone up. He'd take the team out when he sensed a dip in morale.”

Many companies struggle with the internal culture, morale and motivation are always factors. Gregory is the first to admit they didn’t always get it right, but Ex Novo had recently found the right balance with Ryan becoming an incredible leader, advocate, and friend, for fellow brewers Rubbo, Hudson, Emileigh Joe, and Jack.

Caroline Kosciusko had only known Ryan for 10 months, but was witness to the best and most positive moments as well as the dark times. “Ryan was giving it his all to be better and do better in his personal life. But unfortunately he didn’t prioritize getting his mental health better first. He suffered greatly from depression and anxiety for years, and was really struggling with it in his final weeks. His suicide was an utter shock to all of us, but knowing Ryan is at peace now and that his heart, lungs, kidneys, pancreas, and liver are all viable for transplants means he’s saving at least 7 peoples lives. That’s the silver lining I’ll carry forever.”

As news of Ryan’s passing slowly reached the industry the tributes have begun pouring in.

Gigantic Brewing founder Van Havig:

“He had a special gift for needling me about being an old brewer, but he had a wealth of experience and technical ability beyond his time in the industry. He was charming AND talented. He might have been known for throwing anything and everything in a cask and calling it cask conditioned, but at heart he was a brewer's brewer who cared deeply about what we do. This is a great loss for the Portland brewing community, the Oregon brewing community and craft beer in total. My heart aches for his children, and I hope that they understand that their father had an impact on his industry and those around him.”

Sean Burke, founder of ForeLandBeer:

“I am going to miss the conversations about our shared interests. Long talks about lager and mixed-culture beer, about where to find the best al pastor tacos in Portland, about obscure Salt Lake City country bands, about fishing and camping, about relationships and connections with those around us. I am going to miss his passion for wanting to constantly improve his craft and never just settling, about asking non-stop questions to make his beers better. Most of all I am going to miss my friend. Rest in peace brother.”

Colin Rath, co-owner of Migration Brewing:

“Ryan always humored my absolute love for Saisons and laughed at how much of his Mis En Plas table beer I as one human consumed. We would share and critique beers of all styles on the regular and talk about life. He pushed boundaries in the beer scene and brewed for the love of brewing and was always eager to invite others along for that ride. He was an absolutely amazing father to his 2 wonderful sons and a dedicated friend that few of us are lucky to have. This loss is going to leave a gaping hole in the Portland brew scene and the overall craft beer scene that might not ever be filled.”

Mike Hunsaker, brewmaster of Grains of Wrath:

“Ryan was one of my best friends. He was a great brewer and a better friend. One of the kindest people I’ve ever met and supported me during my own struggles. I’ll always miss him being a goofball and drinking all of my best bourbon.”

Trever Bass, former Hopworks and Migration head brewer now of 33 Acres Brewing:

“There is a new void in the brewing community. My incredibly supportive friend, my mentor, my confidant and fellow schemer took his own life and left behind countless people that loved him, including his two young sons, his parents and brothers. There is a lot to be said about Ryans decision and my thoughts have shifted a lot since Friday. For now Ryan, I hope you have found the peace you wanted above anything else.

Ryan was a beautiful human that was able to easily bestow wisdom, share kindness, smother you with praise and also quickly deflate an excess of vanity, including his own. He loved cowboy boots. He was a talented and creative brewer. Ryan had a unique kind of green thumb.

For those left in the wake of this, there are others that feel the way you do. If you need someone to talk to, there is a community full of people you can always call on. If you are in crisis yourself, struggle with depression or substance abuse and need someone to talk to, please reach out to a friend, family or a free hotline. Making a decision that cannot be undone removes the possibility to create positive change.”

Ryan Buxton was one of the most beloved members of the Portland beer community - his legacy will live on. If there is anything to be gleaned from his passing it is to look out for those that we care about most, and that as great as this industry seems there are dark corners that we should not, and can not shy away from. We need to take care of the people first and foremost, without them there would be no such thing as small and independent craft beer.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 800-273-8255

In Canada, 1-800-784-2433